You are one month old, Easton. Ok, lets be honest, you actually turned one month a week ago. Get used to it, your parents love to procrastinate. Especially when Dance Moms is on.
How in the world are you one month old already? It seems like just yesterday we were nervously bringing you home from the hospital. But here you are, cozy in your home and adjusting to life. During your first month of life, you experienced some crazy things. First, my side of the closet collapsed. When it happened, I really thought it was someone breaking in CSI style (I guess if you’re reading this a decade or two from now, you’ll have to Google CSI — or do whatever you do to search things on the internet). Then our upstairs air conditioner crapped out. We were able to camp out downstairs to be comfortable, but damn, it did get hot upstairs. And then finally, our microwave broke. END OF THE WORLD. Turned out it was only a minor piece and we were good to go after a friendly visit from GE.
Looking back at pictures from the time you arrived, it’s hard not to wonder how your mother and I, well, made you. You’re cute, good looking, happy and already have a better personality than us. Hold onto those qualities, because if you are, in fact, our son, there will come a time when you become socially awkward and rather odd looking. Sorry kid, it’s just in the genes. My apologies in advance for that acne you’ll discover in a bit over a decade.
You’re eating like a champ these days; almost too much for us to comprehend. But this just goes to show that you are our son — after-all, your mother and I could eat all day every day. We’ve been devouring flying saucers like it’s our job every night. I swear, we eat bagels and ice cream flying saucers every day. Maybe some pizza mixed in there from time to time. You are going to love pizza.
Your grandparents have been wonderful to you, but you must remain skeptical of their true intentions. They just want to kidnap you and call you their own. (I’m kidding grandparents, relax). But really, your mom’s parents continually bring us wonderful food items (like fresh mozzarella) when they visit you. So your mom and I eat while Nana and Pop take care of you. As for my parents, well Gram has been taking you for long walks around the neighborhood. It gives you some fresh air and gives us some time to shower and eat more food. I’m sure she chews your ears off while you go for your stroll telling you funny stories and the like. You’ll actually appreciate them one day. But just don’t pick up that crazy Staten Island accent. Your grandfather is waiting for the day when you two can fly remote control helicopters in the backyard. I think he’s just looking for an excuse to buy more toys for himself.
Lets move onto the embarrassing stuff, huh? You poop and you poop, a lot. Plus I will never look at French’s yellow mustard the same.
As for the cute stuff? You’re smiling up a storm already. And it’s the best thing in the world. Your mouth gets wide open and your eyebrows go all the way up. It’s incredible. And speaking of eyebrows, you’re already showing signs of my facial expressions. Mom likes pointing this out, “he must be mad, he’s doing your mad face”, “he’s got your sleepy eyes on”, and “yup, same farting face, too.” We like to joke around that you’re advanced for your age because you started smiling way early. I assume all parents do this. We can’t be the only crazies.
Speaking of crazy. Your fur brothers and sisters have been great. Mowie likes to pretend you don’t exist, but she secretly watches over you. Macky is eagerly waiting for the day you two can play together. Oh, he also likes to sniff your butt from underneath the rocker thing we have. Get used to that. And Diggy, well Diggy is incredibly protective of you and is always concerned when you’re crying. He could be upstairs sound asleep and if you started crying, he’d come running down right to your side. We’re so grateful they are all taking you in as one of their own. It makes this whole thing a ton easier. Can you start using their litter box now?
Cheers kid, happy one month!